Where to Start When Life Shifts: Resources & Mindset for Women in Transition

Stellar Women: A Space for Women in Transition

Stellar Women is geared towards women in transition. Most of us are always in some kind of transition, but the big ones like divorce, the death of a spouse or partner, or losing your job leave you feeling vulnerable and on your own. Even happy transitions like graduating from college, marriage, the birth of a child, or starting a new business or nonprofit can be a little scary. These transitions all require planning, resources and the right mindset to get you to where you want to be.

We All Need Support — No Matter the Phase

We are all in different phases of our lives and careers and need different things. No matter where you are, in order to be successful you need help, we all do.

The Science Quiz: A Lesson in Asking for Help

Last month my 14 year old son came home with a 36% on a science quiz. He hadn’t mentioned that the quiz was coming up to his tutor or to us. I was absolutely livid because I hadn’t seen any effort to study. He claimed he did study, but he didn’t ask for help because he wanted to show us he could do it by himself.

He was granted a retake opportunity and I strongly suggested some study techniques, like creating flashcards by hand instead of scrolling through the screen hoping to learn by osmosis. I had him take breaks and come back to the material, and he also reviewed the material in school the next day with his tutor.

Our son was adopted at 10 and is an English language learner and that sometimes puts him at a bit of a disadvantage academically. My older daughter was visiting and was concerned that perhaps we were pushing him beyond his capabilities. He got an A- on that retake. He was absolutely capable of succeeding and despite my providing some resources, he most certainly still did the work himself.

What I Told Him Applies to All of Us

What I shared with him is what I’ll tell you: we all are capable of so much more when we allow others to help us fill in the gaps. Nobody does ANYTHING alone no matter what they tell you. Others can’t provide the desire, the hard work, and the courage to create the life that you want, but the resources to get you there are available.

Where Do I Start?

It depends on where you are, where you want to go, and how fast you want to get there. If you are in a difficult transition, be gentle with yourself, find trusted advisors to guide you, and take steps each day to move forward.

Free Resources Are a Smart Starting Point

There are excellent free resources as a starting point and these include books, podcasts, support groups (both online and in person), free courses, mentors in your own community. There are paid resources and these are even harder to sift through and vet for reliability. My advice is to start with the free resources, get warmed up, and then you will be in a better position to be discerning when you are paying someone for coaching or other services.

How to Vet Paid Programs

If you come across a program that promises to transform your career, life, health check and see if they have a podcast. Those should be free and will give you a good sense of what the paid version will look like.

Books Are Not Just Pep Talks

Books are another great place to start. Not a reader? Try an audiobook. Behind many of those motivational books you will often find a lot of proven behavioral science, time management, financial advice, and blueprints for success. These are NOT pep talks, they are strategies and while they may seem like common sense after the fact, if it resonates with you when you hear someone else say it, then it is a absolutely tangible and valuable.

Further Along? Your Resources Just Look Different

If you are further along in the reinvention game, you may need different resources, but I promise you they are there. You can find them with a little internet research or better yet, by asking someone who is where you want to be. There are professionals for just about any problem you need a solution to. Figure out which ones you need to solve most urgently and build a team to help you get there.

“I Can’t Afford It, I Don’t Have Time, It Won’t Work…”

You can’t afford NOT to do something different. Investing in yourself will never be something you regret, and it definitely won’t work if you don’t try. Opening yourself up to possibility, opportunity, and asking for help will yield results you can’t even imagine.